The uniqueness of character is rather misconstrued. What is acquired
cannot be ascribed to what is congenitally inherent. And yet, we shun, into an
omnipresent void, the mental faculty that empowers calculated judgment.
The ameliorable position we self-assign is much too comfortable to
leave. But should it be? Why the fear?
It takes a harsher beating and becomes inexplicably labyrinthine when it
comes face to face through you against the people you love. Your unchangeable
stoicism versus effusive enthusiasm. Every considerate appeal to welcome
refining transformation is hastily palmed off.
It is ironic how negative influences, ideally to be disavowed, are
not sieved and easily allowed to permeate, while anything remotely positive
requires boardroom discussion between the angel and the demon in our heads. And
even that in more cases than not proves to be of no avail as we pathetically
succumb. The many mind games we play with ourselves seem to never tire out. But
our tolerance to see another player in the arena quickly dwindles. While our
action affects that other, sometimes irreparably, it cannot, to the stubborn
mind, bear any responsibility on him to bring that forth or play the
quarterback. Convoluted and chaotic a state of mind we call
collected. What may not be so obviously evident at this point that on one
unpredictable and fine-weathered day, it is all going to cannonade into
something frantically fractious.
While each instance may effervescently fizz out, that same loved one
holds your hand and puts you back up on a pedestal. Unconditional love but only
allows vision through coloured glass. And our flaw, conveniently forgotten. Is
it a repetitive sequence with no solution? The positive that is to be culled
out is consigned to oblivion without a hitch until the next glitch takes you to
a new rock bottom. Staying on an erratic edge in perpetuity will one day push
you over.
Darkness cannot but be overcome with the absence of it; and that we call
light. And attempting to run afar from it is futile for you yield no different
result. When each situation amplifies the hostility you hold against yourself,
living itself will become deadweight. Every consummate concoction of the
perfection potion bears one key ingredient: the ability to welcome change. That
day when humility holds a higher place and you can unassumingly accept to
consider that which another holds in capital position, is the day you'll learn
why you were previously cut and bruised. Also, it isn't enough if we designate
blame to the cause but have the reasoning to see reason.
"I stand amid the roar
Of a surf tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep, while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?"
~ Edgar Allan Poe.
